fleeburd

Walk to Dad’s Shop

I’m working in my dad’s old shop, on my folk’s property with the trees that I’ve loved for more than half my life ❤️ My dad, the trees I belong to, they’re all here. You said today that there is a new energy to my art, But familiar. And I knew instantly it was DadContinue reading “Walk to Dad’s Shop”

Heartbeat

I keep thinking of when mom asked me to come check on him, that she thought he just died. I was working at home, but ran over next door. He was so still in bed, his cheeks turning sallow already, and I just leaned over with my chest to his and listened to see ifContinue reading “Heartbeat”

Bye bye, Daddy. I’ll fly with you again. Just keep playing Jimmy Buffett so I can find you ❤️

Sleeping

He’s been doing nothing but sleeping since we had to start him on morphine yesterday. Hasn’t woken up or said any words. I don’t think he will wake again. I still rub his head with the coconut lotion and dab a little on his nose. He doesn’t wake but he grins and relaxes. Mom triedContinue reading “Sleeping”

Confusion

He’s not able to walk to the bathroom today it seems. Waking confused and needing an explanation for what’s going on. Feet are puffy and sore, I keep on with the massages but he seems he has pins and needles in his toes, so I’m much more careful with softer touches. Dad was supposed toContinue reading “Confusion”

Fairness

There really is none at time of quick decline. You get a good day and hope the next is too, feel you’ve earned it with a few bad ones. Where he was walking two weeks ago without too much trouble now he is barely able to make it to the bathroom. Each time he sitsContinue reading “Fairness”

Goodbyes

I’ve not much in me to write. Today I work from my folk’s place as I insist that mom take time away from home. She is out for the day and I’ve stayed with pops, working in the back office. Today he hasn’t gotten up or stayed awake all day, been snoozing. Hasn’t touched hisContinue reading “Goodbyes”

Head rubs

Mom very understandably needs time away from the house (and I support it), so on days when she has Pilates I am going to their place to check on dad. Work breaks allow for it as I work from home thankfully. When she went today I walked over during lunch to check on dad, andContinue reading “Head rubs”

Visits, missed trip, haircut

I don’t mind the missed trip though, even if it is probably (maybe) the last trip dad will have to the beach. Needed a quiet weekend at home and the thought of being surrounded by nonstop action and talking would have been overwhelming. Dad left Friday with hair starting to fall out from the radiationContinue reading “Visits, missed trip, haircut”

Cold, drizzly, grey

I am lucky, I’ve an excellent butt warmer. Haven’t had a full winter in my place as yet, moved into Betty Bewildered earlier this year in March. Adjusting to the need for warmth and the need for balance of fresh air is interesting. Last night I hung an extra blanket over the bedroom window, wellContinue reading “Cold, drizzly, grey”