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Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? – Mary Oliver

Wake Up

How has it been so long? I didn’t forget about this blog, not in the least, rather, so very much has happened. I took to updating my stories on IG instead of the blog after Dad was gone. Four months after his death in January 2025 their property was hit without mercy by the torrential…

by fleeburd

Walk to Dad’s Shop

I’m working in my dad’s old shop, on my folk’s property with the trees that I’ve loved for more than half my life ❤️ My dad, the trees I belong to, they’re all here. You said today that there is a new energy to my art, But familiar. And I knew instantly it was Dad…

by fleeburd

Heartbeat

I keep thinking of when mom asked me to come check on him, that she thought he just died. I was working at home, but ran over next door. He was so still in bed, his cheeks turning sallow already, and I just leaned over with my chest to his and listened to see if…

by fleeburd

Sleeping

He’s been doing nothing but sleeping since we had to start him on morphine yesterday. Hasn’t woken up or said any words. I don’t think he will wake again. I still rub his head with the coconut lotion and dab a little on his nose. He doesn’t wake but he grins and relaxes. Mom tried…

by fleeburd

Confusion

He’s not able to walk to the bathroom today it seems. Waking confused and needing an explanation for what’s going on. Feet are puffy and sore, I keep on with the massages but he seems he has pins and needles in his toes, so I’m much more careful with softer touches. Dad was supposed to…

by fleeburd

Fairness

There really is none at time of quick decline. You get a good day and hope the next is too, feel you’ve earned it with a few bad ones. Where he was walking two weeks ago without too much trouble now he is barely able to make it to the bathroom. Each time he sits…

by fleeburd

Goodbyes

I’ve not much in me to write. Today I work from my folk’s place as I insist that mom take time away from home. She is out for the day and I’ve stayed with pops, working in the back office. Today he hasn’t gotten up or stayed awake all day, been snoozing. Hasn’t touched his…

by fleeburd

Head rubs

Mom very understandably needs time away from the house (and I support it), so on days when she has Pilates I am going to their place to check on dad. Work breaks allow for it as I work from home thankfully. When she went today I walked over during lunch to check on dad, and…

by fleeburd

Visits, missed trip, haircut

I don’t mind the missed trip though, even if it is probably (maybe) the last trip dad will have to the beach. Needed a quiet weekend at home and the thought of being surrounded by nonstop action and talking would have been overwhelming. Dad left Friday with hair starting to fall out from the radiation…

by fleeburd

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