Moved back to the land that has held my heart for more than half my life. I wake every morning feeling hugged by the roots below me. I walk outside barefoot, haven’t for over four years. Perhaps longer. Every step I take I can feel the land pulling me back to her.
Everything is blooming. The plum, the pear, the pomegranates, figs, wildflowers, my favorite the mountain laurel, they are abuzz with bees and wasps and beetles. They smile back at songbirds who share the branches.
Bought an old 1991 RV trailer, been remodeling with SO MUCH HELP from my folks and aunt and sister while I was in surgery and recovering last year. It is small, but I can open so many more windows for fresh air and get sung awake every morning.
There are crows who fly over my new home before eight every morning, without fail. They caw loud enough I can hear them during work meetings, and I can’t wait to make friends with them.
A pair of nesting red-shouldered hawks come back every year and they cry their raptor voices from trees all around, scaring the songbirds into silence.
I’m building a big porch that will be covered and screened in, both to shade the RV during the season the sun is trying to cook us, and to have a space for my kitties and myself to live outdoors more. It is so satisfying to see it grow, with a little help here and there. But I love more so being able to work on it myself. Seeing it come together little by little makes my heart so happy.
And renovating a small shed into a tiny home for the teenaged spawn. What I wouldn’t have done for a little place all my own at that age!! It’s about ten feet from the RV, and we will spend a lot of time this summer on the porch together.
Getting ready for vending coming up at the end of the month with the woodshop. We’ve been coming up with new ideas and expanding our skills, and have volunteers with us almost every weekend. Stuns me how I’ve been doing this now three years and the preteen me inside cannot fucking believe the woman I’ve become.
Broke my best friend’s heart. The one who was there through my entire cancer scare and surgery. Still struggling with that. Feel quite the monster, honestly. Just wondering why I let people close just to love them and hurt them. When I know I’m happiest alone. Just isn’t fair to them, and I know it. Going to have a field day in therapy.
Days are full of my 9-5 job, then immediately after working on my place. Thankfully it’s going more quickly now that I’m living here. Weekends I’m in the woodshop in the morning, then working on the porch or tiny home after.
I don’t take time off, am busy as hell, and loving every damn moment.
A Burd in Flight 