Tonight I miss you

And the virus doesn’t scare me anymore

because I’m already drowning in my snot crying

missing you knowing I’ll never

see you

or feel your energy your eyes

your hands

and I can’t breathe again

I’m drowning because

what are the years ahead of me if you are not there

I don’t want them

and I’m choking on

vomit spilling into my

eyes sweating my need to just

hold

your

hand

right now but I never will

I never will

I never will.