Author Archives: fleeburd

The love of my life

She was. So much of me still believes she is, and will always be. As much as I’m sobbing now missing her I was sobbing when I was with her. She really tried. She did. So hard. She gave herself as much as she could. I don’t blame her for the things she bore beforeContinue reading “The love of my life”

Distanced

This pandemic has changed so so much. I don’t have much in common with anyone anymore it feels like. I’ve been distancing myself from close friends and not sure why. Haven’t wanted to write. I desperately need some outdoor time. But it’s too fucking hot and I can’t take it. It’s death outside right nowContinue reading “Distanced”

I needed that

Took kiddo for a picnic by the creek on my parent’s property. We don’t get to visit much, and things are awkward what with the shunning requirement of their faith, but it was lovely. Mom had found a sewing machine for me, made in probably the 50s or 60s, a neat old Singer that willContinue reading “I needed that”

A vessel or canvas?

Recently I saw this as a prompt for a post online: “…some of the stonefemmes I have talked to recently have an interesting way of describing themselves in their relationship to stonebutches. One called herself a “vessel” and another a “canvas.” In your ideal scenario: Femmes, how would you describe yourself? Butches, how would youContinue reading “A vessel or canvas?”

The Promise of the Shaman

Not my work, but made of the work that calls me the strongest. Worth the time to read, if you just take the time for it. And I needed it so. I read it over and over, inside my head, then out loud, and the words felt delicious so I had to record them. I’veContinue reading “The Promise of the Shaman”

Didn’t have a chance in hell

Crumbling cliff’s edge before me, yet another precipice hard fought for another fright that makes my feet tingle so strongly I feel I’m tiptoeing through clouds and all I’m doing is standing here Alone Wolf Howling under my breath so as not to shake the boulders from the sides because if I do they’ll tumbleContinue reading “Didn’t have a chance in hell”

Darkest mirror, yes, I still miss her

I’m not calling names or pointing fingers. Honestly, I know very damn clearly that all of us have narcissistic traits. Every one of us. This article helped me come to terms with still missing her now and then, my Stardust. Because in her shined the things I loved most about myself. As much as IContinue reading “Darkest mirror, yes, I still miss her”

I Don’t Pack For You

It waits in the drawer till morning,  I feel it, watching me, through the wood as if it were a window, This alien piece of anatomy with no soul.  I can feel it throb, hidden away,  It’s attached, though it isn’t,  Roots deep inside  My hips saddled with femininity I want to slice off,  TheyContinue reading “I Don’t Pack For You”

I’m no longer just a writer…

I’m now an author, and floating high with the wisps of cloud in front of the setting sun…I’ve waited my entire life for this moment. The art is my own, painted at the beginning of the quarantine starting in the area, which makes it even more special. Thank you, Victoria, for the push and encouragement,Continue reading “I’m no longer just a writer…”