Another month has passed in a whirlwind of absent moments. To where I feel the only mark of time is how often I refill my pill sorting box. It’s Wednesday again, another week gone, in cycle over and over again and it’s a month, it’s a quarter of the year, it’s four years altogether. TheContinue reading “Absent Moments”
Tag Archives: apostate
Sunday
Sitting thinking there was nothing to write about these days. And my mind is such a whirlwind that I can’t even remember who I’ve told about my dad and his brain surgery a few weeks ago. Have I even written about it here? That’s a later post if not. I woke on the day afterContinue reading “Sunday”
When a woman spends time cutting a sailboat into pieces, under the tallest pecans for 100 miles…
Well. About 15 years ago my ever adventurous dad parked his 30 foot sailboat in their backyard down by the creek lining the bottom of the property. It sat there for a while, under the towering pecans, until a storm made the creek flood and picked the boat clean off the trailer, spun it, andContinue reading “When a woman spends time cutting a sailboat into pieces, under the tallest pecans for 100 miles…”
Prime of My Life
My entire existence I’ve been told “a woman’s sexual prime is in her 40’s…I looked forward to feeling that rush, that high, of being there. Feeling more myself than ever. Having a confidence I couldn’t have imagined before. Of being seen by others in a light I never had. In many ways most of thoseContinue reading “Prime of My Life”
Dreams
We all dream of ourselves…especially when we dream of houses, or places we live. I’ve several places I return to in my dreams repeatedly. One is a wild spring that feeds into a river and every time I dream of it it’s different. Sometimes it’s being overrun by destructive humans. Sometimes it’s wild and free.Continue reading “Dreams”
Two Spirits
About five years ago I was sitting on the balcony outside my little garage apartment. I lived with my Leather family, and my little suite above the garage was my solitude, my sanctuary. I wasn’t sober then, I hadn’t found the strength yet. Having the drinks that always sat at my side, I was perchedContinue reading “Two Spirits”
Transactional Relationships
There was something I read recently that had the opinion that men look at relationships differently than women. That men look at them as transactional, as that’s how society as a whole has trained them. That their partners exist more as meant to serve and give their bodies and constantly give of their time andContinue reading “Transactional Relationships”
We all die
Mortality is so difficult. Even at my age. For someone who was raised to believe that “Millions Now Living Will Never Die”, my fondest hope was that I’d be one of those people. And yes, I was raised to believe that, truly. It feels like I was robbed of my immortality, to accept that IContinue reading “We all die”
Ocean
Just was watching an episode of 1883 and reached a part (no spoilers) of a character dying when they shouldn’t. In grief, their partner sat beside their grave with a gun in their hand, wishing to join them. Then came the captain of the wagon train and he said something I likely will never forget:Continue reading “Ocean”
Quiet
I treasure these days accompanied by silence When everything is breathing, The walls holding a sacred quiet So loud my ears ring. When I can put aside the thoughts for others Feed them, entertain them, talk with them, bring them out of themselves. Only I exist in a selfish security One not breached My fortressContinue reading “Quiet”
A Burd in Flight 