I was driving home yesterday and it struck me. A switch flipped. Just like getting sober, a switch flipped. I finally comprehend that my Stardust simply wasn’t right for me. And it’s not anyone’s fault. She couldn’t know at the beginning that she’d never trust me. And she tried so hard. I, in turn, couldn’tContinue reading “Not her fault or mine.”
Tag Archives: lgbt
I did learn
Quite a lot, I’m seeing more every day. Now, the time I was there in Idaho, last year exactly. She taught me so much. These eight months of isolation and solitude has taught me even more. I’ve seen that everything she hated the most about herself she saw in her mom and others she loved.Continue reading “I did learn”
Walkabout
Woke desperately needing some wild, so took my ass out for a walk. Hike. Both. It’s one of my favorite spots around here, just isolated (and unpopular) enough that I rarely ever see others in the same area. There’s a river with numerous wash-out areas that all lead to the water. The riverbed is carvedContinue reading “Walkabout”
Because why not
I haven’t felt pretty in ever so long. Months and months. She knew how to make me feel pretty and loved, and voiced so many words of adoration almost every day that now I wonder if those too are a lie. I wonder if she was wrong and so am I and I’m a monsterContinue reading “Because why not”
Stepping in the footprints of giants
Yesterday I grabbed one of my favorite humans and took us to a sacred place. Not far from here is a very little known spot in a riverbed that has ancient footprints from two different kind of dinosaurs, one a large brontosaurus-like critter and the other a smaller velociraptor-like predator called an acrocathosaurus. There areContinue reading “Stepping in the footprints of giants”
The love of my life
She was. So much of me still believes she is, and will always be. As much as I’m sobbing now missing her I was sobbing when I was with her. She really tried. She did. So hard. She gave herself as much as she could. I don’t blame her for the things she bore beforeContinue reading “The love of my life”
A vessel or canvas?
Recently I saw this as a prompt for a post online: “…some of the stonefemmes I have talked to recently have an interesting way of describing themselves in their relationship to stonebutches. One called herself a “vessel” and another a “canvas.” In your ideal scenario: Femmes, how would you describe yourself? Butches, how would youContinue reading “A vessel or canvas?”
Didn’t have a chance in hell
Crumbling cliff’s edge before me, yet another precipice hard fought for another fright that makes my feet tingle so strongly I feel I’m tiptoeing through clouds and all I’m doing is standing here Alone Wolf Howling under my breath so as not to shake the boulders from the sides because if I do they’ll tumbleContinue reading “Didn’t have a chance in hell”
Darkest mirror, yes, I still miss her
I’m not calling names or pointing fingers. Honestly, I know very damn clearly that all of us have narcissistic traits. Every one of us. This article helped me come to terms with still missing her now and then, my Stardust. Because in her shined the things I loved most about myself. As much as IContinue reading “Darkest mirror, yes, I still miss her”
Musings: An erotic story with reading
Wrote this on a whim, after a dream with the scene envisioned. I’d left the Jehovah’s Witnesses and my marriage to my middle-school-sweetheart just two years before. Finally I could explore who I truly wanted to be. September 26, 2012 2:23 AM I rapped on the apartment door, once then twice, our agreed signal. ThereContinue reading “Musings: An erotic story with reading”
A Burd in Flight 