Sitting thinking there was nothing to write about these days. And my mind is such a whirlwind that I can’t even remember who I’ve told about my dad and his brain surgery a few weeks ago. Have I even written about it here? That’s a later post if not. I woke on the day afterContinue reading “Sunday”
Tag Archives: grief
When a woman spends time cutting a sailboat into pieces, under the tallest pecans for 100 miles…
Well. About 15 years ago my ever adventurous dad parked his 30 foot sailboat in their backyard down by the creek lining the bottom of the property. It sat there for a while, under the towering pecans, until a storm made the creek flood and picked the boat clean off the trailer, spun it, andContinue reading “When a woman spends time cutting a sailboat into pieces, under the tallest pecans for 100 miles…”
Punishment
“It is a mourning, to be broken for one we love. And it doesn’t heal easily or quickly. I’m over three years now from walking away from who I thought was the love of my life and still not the same. It is unfair how we punish ourselves.” I wrote this today to my longestContinue reading “Punishment”
Music
Is still so hard for me. It was our love language, how we ached for one another, how we wooed, preened one another’s feathers. My eyes flutter shut when I remember the smell and taste of her under me while we listened to our love story playlist. How she would call me “Grasshopper”. How itContinue reading “Music”
Dreams
We all dream of ourselves…especially when we dream of houses, or places we live. I’ve several places I return to in my dreams repeatedly. One is a wild spring that feeds into a river and every time I dream of it it’s different. Sometimes it’s being overrun by destructive humans. Sometimes it’s wild and free.Continue reading “Dreams”
Only My Eyes
The edge of you Brushed my skin so lightly It bowled me over Hair spinning a torrent a tumbleweed Wild as the gusts that roll it And just as prickly You gave me goosebumps I wasn’t ready for And whirling to catch my breath Dry eyes dusty white I stood in place rooted, Cuts stillContinue reading “Only My Eyes”
Ocean
Just was watching an episode of 1883 and reached a part (no spoilers) of a character dying when they shouldn’t. In grief, their partner sat beside their grave with a gun in their hand, wishing to join them. Then came the captain of the wagon train and he said something I likely will never forget:Continue reading “Ocean”
Is it heartless
In the morning I wipe the sleep from my eyes, thanking my brain for not dreaming of her. And it feels good and right that I have habits that are mine and only mine and don’t come from our time together. Even so she’s still there, when I look at my hair growing in fromContinue reading “Is it heartless”
“Almost none of us commit suicide, and almost all of us self-destruct.”
It’s a cold and breezy morning here, wind is blustering in grey clouds and there’s a chill in the air that belongs on green Irish moors, not Texas in (almost) April. This morning I’m introspective and for the first time in weeks I didn’t wake with an overwhelming dread, anxiety closing off the world aroundContinue reading ““Almost none of us commit suicide, and almost all of us self-destruct.””
Fingernails black with soil
Last weekend I spent half a day clearing out old growth and weeds and grass overtaking my little garden beds. It felt right that when the sun was shining and warm, after quite a bit of rain, that I pull and dig and carry countless armfuls of bracken from the beds. That I pull offContinue reading “Fingernails black with soil”
A Burd in Flight 