This. Through all the heartache. The numbness that’s plagued me for the past five years. This is why I don’t regret loving who I’ve loved. Because it’s all part of me. And knowing I’m capable of so much passion and love is a wonderful thing. My muse needs to be myself, and it always was,Continue reading “From Every Beautiful Mile by Ashley Manley”
Tag Archives: isolation
When a woman spends time cutting a sailboat into pieces, under the tallest pecans for 100 miles…
Well. About 15 years ago my ever adventurous dad parked his 30 foot sailboat in their backyard down by the creek lining the bottom of the property. It sat there for a while, under the towering pecans, until a storm made the creek flood and picked the boat clean off the trailer, spun it, andContinue reading “When a woman spends time cutting a sailboat into pieces, under the tallest pecans for 100 miles…”
Punishment
“It is a mourning, to be broken for one we love. And it doesn’t heal easily or quickly. I’m over three years now from walking away from who I thought was the love of my life and still not the same. It is unfair how we punish ourselves.” I wrote this today to my longestContinue reading “Punishment”
Only My Eyes
The edge of you Brushed my skin so lightly It bowled me over Hair spinning a torrent a tumbleweed Wild as the gusts that roll it And just as prickly You gave me goosebumps I wasn’t ready for And whirling to catch my breath Dry eyes dusty white I stood in place rooted, Cuts stillContinue reading “Only My Eyes”
A hermit. No, really
I’m just realizing that I’ve been more antisocial for the past few weeks. Which isn’t a bad thing. It feels deep inside like I need to preserve the peace I have and not reach out to those I love. It infuriates me, but that’s how it is in my brain. I’ve had my son withContinue reading “A hermit. No, really”
Drawing a circle
It’s so odd looking back now. Every relationship I’ve been in, how I thought I was a whole, interesting, solid person. Then years past I look back and see nothing but the scared girl I was. I grew up thinking I’d had an idyllic childhood. Who else’s parents bring her up on her grandparent’s airport?Continue reading “Drawing a circle”
Fingernails black with soil
Last weekend I spent half a day clearing out old growth and weeds and grass overtaking my little garden beds. It felt right that when the sun was shining and warm, after quite a bit of rain, that I pull and dig and carry countless armfuls of bracken from the beds. That I pull offContinue reading “Fingernails black with soil”
Snow in Texas …And thoughts on needing to NOT be needed
We haven’t had so much snow in this area in forty years I think. It’s charming and reminds me of being in Idaho this time last year. I think it’s beautiful even as it reminds me of what I left behind. I need to be not needed. More than I need water, or air. IContinue reading “Snow in Texas …And thoughts on needing to NOT be needed”
I did learn
Quite a lot, I’m seeing more every day. Now, the time I was there in Idaho, last year exactly. She taught me so much. These eight months of isolation and solitude has taught me even more. I’ve seen that everything she hated the most about herself she saw in her mom and others she loved.Continue reading “I did learn”
Stepping in the footprints of giants
Yesterday I grabbed one of my favorite humans and took us to a sacred place. Not far from here is a very little known spot in a riverbed that has ancient footprints from two different kind of dinosaurs, one a large brontosaurus-like critter and the other a smaller velociraptor-like predator called an acrocathosaurus. There areContinue reading “Stepping in the footprints of giants”
A Burd in Flight 