Head rubs

Mom very understandably needs time away from the house (and I support it), so on days when she has Pilates I am going to their place to check on dad. Work breaks allow for it as I work from home thankfully. When she went today I walked over during lunch to check on dad, andContinue reading “Head rubs”

I need to write more often

Life tends to get so busy these days it’s the last thing I think of. Changed jobs, improved my screened porch, settling into my little home with the panthers. Dad is declining quickly. We honestly didn’t think he’d still be here at this point, and it’s been an adventure with many medical ups and downsContinue reading “I need to write more often”

Melting Dripping Summer

My folks are out of town and as I live on their property amongst the giant pecan trees, I offered to help out with the kitties and the garden. They are off to cruise from Iceland to Norway over the edge of the Arctic Circle and their days and nights probably aren’t getting warmer thanContinue reading “Melting Dripping Summer”

One more year

Of your towering smiles, your warm arms, Of lumbering voice that could shake the windowsills And terrorize the birds outside If you were less gentle. One more year Of tucking feathers in each other’s messy hair When the trail calls our names And we wander farther than our eyes think, Our feet carrying us asContinue reading “One more year”

Drum Waltz

I dance For my feet shall sing And move me along with the notes, Toeing the soil our mother holds me And the tree who has always reached for me Since I saw her Seems to also hold the stars in her hands. I move Without music playing all I can hear Are drums relegatingContinue reading “Drum Waltz”

We all die

Mortality is so difficult. Even at my age. For someone who was raised to believe that “Millions Now Living Will Never Die”, my fondest hope was that I’d be one of those people. And yes, I was raised to believe that, truly. It feels like I was robbed of my immortality, to accept that IContinue reading “We all die”

Ocean

Just was watching an episode of 1883 and reached a part (no spoilers) of a character dying when they shouldn’t. In grief, their partner sat beside their grave with a gun in their hand, wishing to join them. Then came the captain of the wagon train and he said something I likely will never forget:Continue reading “Ocean”

Made of Love

I often have said this over the years, that I’m Made of Love. One so all-encompassing I couldn’t wish harm on anyone, it’s just not something that ever springs to mind. Like my son, I am empathy on two stuttering feet, absorbing the air around me and everything in it. I radiate love outward, patience,Continue reading “Made of Love”

A hermit. No, really

I’m just realizing that I’ve been more antisocial for the past few weeks. Which isn’t a bad thing. It feels deep inside like I need to preserve the peace I have and not reach out to those I love. It infuriates me, but that’s how it is in my brain. I’ve had my son withContinue reading “A hermit. No, really”

Drawing a circle

It’s so odd looking back now. Every relationship I’ve been in, how I thought I was a whole, interesting, solid person. Then years past I look back and see nothing but the scared girl I was. I grew up thinking I’d had an idyllic childhood. Who else’s parents bring her up on her grandparent’s airport?Continue reading “Drawing a circle”